Try this fun experiment:

Hold your hands opposite each other, fingers open. Bend your middle fingers and hold them together back to back, then join the remaining three fingers and your thumb of both hands, tip to tip.

Try to separate only your thumbs in this position. Your thumbs (your parents) will open, because you are not destined to live with them all your life and usually you will outlive them anyway.

Join your thumbs as before and separate your index fingers (siblings). They will also open, because your brothers and sisters have to live their own separate lives.

Put your index fingers back together again and separate your little fingers (your children). They too will open, because when your children are grown they are meant to move out and find their own way separate from you.

Lastly, join your little fingers again and try to separate your ring fingers, representing your spouse.
You will find that you simply cannot to this – because Husband & Wife are meant to remain together all their lives!

The post Why do we wear our wedding rings on the fourth finger? appeared first on Life Celebrations.

“I promise if there’s only one TimTam left, I’ll let you have it.”

“I promise to love you even when you make me so mad, I hate you.”

I always encourage my couples to include personal vows in their ceremony. If you would like to compose your own but don’t know where to start, I suggest writing a letter to your beloved saying everything that you love about them, then pick a few sentences out of that letter and play with the words until you feel that they say just want you want when exchanging personal vows.

You can include personal vows either before or after the legal vows and these can be separate from or part of the ring ceremony – if you are going to have rings (this is completely optional). However you want to do it, it’s your choice but your celebrant will guide you so that the ceremony flows well.

Just remember that this is your day, your wedding, and your declaration to your love. So why not include personal vows?

https://www.sydneycelebrantjanegillespie.com.au/

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But – unless Dan and Cora had lodged a Notice of Intended Marriage (NOIM) at least a month beforehand, this would not have been a legal marriage.

For all those people who think it would be a lovely idea to spring a surprise wedding on their beloved, I’m afraid the bad news is that it simply isn’t possible in our country.

In Australia the law is quite clear. No one must feel as though they are being pressured into agreeing to a marriage. Even if you’re madly in love and are planning to marry and have already lodged your NOIM within the prescribed time frame, you can’t spring a surprise wedding on your beloved. If you suddenly decide that it would be a fabulous idea to surprise him or her at what they thought was going to be a birthday party or family picnic or any other occasion, by producing a marriage celebrant and telling them that you’re getting married here and now, please think again! The ‘surprisee’ may genuinely not want to get married at that precise moment for any number of reasons but might feel too embarrassed to say no.

However, if you are planning on surprising your guests by announcing that the engagement party/baby naming/birthday celebration they are attending is actually your wedding then that’s fine because it will be a decision you have made together. But use caution if family members aren’t present because they may very well be hurt and disappointed to have not been part of such a momentous occasion in your lives.

It’s great to be spontaneous, but if you’re thinking about having a surprise wedding, please discuss the ramifications with your celebrant first.

© Jane Gillespie

https://www.sydneycelebrantjanegillespie.com.au

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As your wedding day approaches you may be bouncing around a new name in your head. Changing names can often make a bride a little sad at the loss of her former name, so it’s perfectly natural to want to hold onto your old name, or even ask your husband if he wants to change names! Over 80% of Australian brides go onto change names, with the vast majority taking their husband’s name and dropping their own surname.

The name change process is simple and straightforward. After the wedding Jane, your celebrant, registers the marriage online with NSW Births, Deaths and Marriages (BDM). At the same time she will order your marriage certificate, if requested. Your certificate is typically delivered by registered mail within 3-5 business days.

On your wedding day you receive a presentation marriage certificate. While some companies will accept this as proof of your marriage name change, most government departments and banks insist on seeing your original BDM certificate or a certified copy. Your BDM certificate has additional security features that helps safeguard your identity.

Once you have your BDM marriage certificate it’s recommended you update government issued photo ID first, such as your driver’s license. This needs to be done in person at any NSW Service Centre. You can then show your updated driver’s license at many places as proof of your new name.

You can update your passport at this stage if you don’t have any pending international travel. If you have flights booked under your maiden name you should not change the name on your passport until your return.

You may be eligible for a free replacement passport in your new name, provided your current passport has at least two years validity remaining.

Next, get your financial records updated. Banks with large branch networks always require you to visit in person. Be sure to take your original BDM marriage certificate, bank ATM or credit cards and photo ID. An appointment is usually not necessary.  ING have a name change form for you to complete and be certified by one of the listed professionals. For all other banks contact them directly to learn the process.

Medicare cards must be updated in person. Take your original marriage certificate and photo ID. You can also have your name appear on the same card as your spouse by completing the Medicare Transfer form. Both husband and wife should sign the form. While the form can be returned by mail, name changes must be done in person, so it’s best to take the form in with you when changing names.

From this point you may have around 10 to 15 additional companies to notify. Most of these changes can be done in writing and brides will all have differing companies to update. Your list should include phone and Internet; pay TV, utilities, insurance, super, loyalty and frequent flyer clubs. Download a comprehensive checklist here.

Contact each company directly to ask their name change procedure, what proof is required (some companies may accept a photocopy of your driver’s license instead of your marriage certificate, or not require any proof). Some companies may need you to send a letter or a fax, so make sure you get the address. You may also be required to return a form.

Name change kits, like the one from www.easynamechange.com/au, provide all the necessary forms and paperwork and give you the name change procedures for over 400 Australian companies.

Customers can save $7 off any kit by entering code JANEGILLESPIE at checkout.

However you decide to change names, aim to get all your records updated within 2 months of starting as it can become difficult when proving your identity. It’s also worthwhile hanging onto some back records and expired photo ID under your old name should you ever need to prove your old name.

If you have any questions about changing names, speak to the professionals at www.easynamechange.com/au for obligation free name change advice.

The post Changing your name after marriage appeared first on Life Celebrations.

However, it won’t be time for a full celebration until the Marriage Act is changed to allow marriage between same sex couples. Even if this is passed by Parliament next month, there will still be certain procedures that must be followed before celebrants can officiate marriage for gay couples.

Don’t open yourselves up to disappointment by thinking you can lodge a Notice of Intended Marriage in the hope that you can be legally married to your same sex partner this year. We have to wait until new documentation has been approved for our use. By all means register your interest with your preferred celebrant, but you cannot start the legal process until we are given the go ahead by the Federal Attorney-General.

Sydney Marriage Celebrant

The post MARRIAGE EQUALITY appeared first on Life Celebrations.

Celebrants must also give their couples information about a variety of organisations that provide educational courses to help strengthen relationships.

I believe that this is an excellent suggestion because it gives couples the opportunity to learn early on if there are likely to be any issues of conflict in their marriage and teach them how to negotiate and compromise before serious problems arise.

Some couples may think that their celebrant is recommending counselling for them but this isn’t the case, because that could imply that there is something missing from or wrong with their relationship.  Pre-marriage courses are a useful way to deepen a connection that is already strong – why else would they want to marry each other? While everything is rosy right now, attending a course gives them tools to help negotiate their way through difficulties that might occur in their relationship when life throws up unexpected challenges.

Make no mistake, ‘life’ happens to everyone so it can only be helpful to learn as much as you can about how to cope, survive and thrive together.

For couples who don’t want to enrol in a formal course or don’t have time to do so before their wedding I have a series of questions that I recommend they discuss together to see if they are on the same page as each other and if not, to discuss together and find compromises that work for both of them.

www.sydneycelebrantjanegillespie.com.au

The post Relationship Education for Couples – Highly Recommended! appeared first on Life Celebrations.

               

So you’ve set the date to marry the love of your life – congratulations! Here are some tips for what you need to think about both before and after the wedding. 

Who pays for the wedding?

Traditionally, the bride’s parents paid for the bridal gown, the photographer/videographer, the bridesmaid dresses and the reception. It was left to the groom to pay the fees for the church, the honeymoon, buttonholes and his bride’s flowers. These days, it is quite common for the couple to pay for just about everything themselves although both sets of parents will often chip in to help.

Ceremony seating

Traditionally the bride’s family would sit on the left of the aisle and the groom’s on the right. However, with civil ceremonies a modern trend is for guests to choose where to sit for themselves and this enhances the idea of two families joining together.

Walking down the aisle

It is traditional for the bride to walk down the aisle with her father, but these days she can enter with both parents or if neither is available, a close family friend, brother or uncle is often asked. However, sometimes couples choose to walk in together and with a civil ceremony you can decide exactly how you wish to do this.

Reception seating

As in the past, today it’s still usual for the bride and groom to sit in the centre of a long top table, the bride’s parents on each side of them and the groom’s parents next to them. The most important guests – which should include the oldest family members – are seated closest to the top table.

Bar etiquette

It is usual to provide drinks for your guests while they wait for you to finish having your photos taken, and throughout the meal served at the reception. A free bar for afterwards is a nice touch, however this isn’t necessary these days if your budget is limited.

Gift list

Your guests will want to buy you a wedding gift and they will want to know what you’d like. These days most couples have been living together for some time before marriage and they will normally already have most domestic appliances, linen, vases, ornaments, etc. If you do have a definite list of things you would like, then it’s probably a good idea to set up a gift register with a local department store.

You might like the guests to contribute some money to your honeymoon or you could prefer to simply request their presence, rather than presents, and it is acceptable today to say that in your wedding invitations.

Thank You Cards 

When you receive gifts from your guests you may feel it’s enough to say thank you face-to-face at the reception. However, good manners mean that you should write a thank you card for every gift. It’s a good idea to try to send these as soon as you receive any gifts that arrives before the wedding. You don’t have to write a novel, just a simple, “Thank you so much for your thoughtful gift. We will really enjoy using it/the …”.  Make a list or spreadsheet with all your guests’ names, a column to write down what their gift is as soon as it arrives, and make a note when you’ve posted your thank you card.

If you simply don’t have time to do this or guests bring presents to the reception, you will have to write your cards after the event. You should plan on doing this as soon as possible after you return from your honeymoon, but definitely within three months of your big day.

Have a supply of cards enough to cover the number of individual presents you think you’ll receive.

If you’re only having a small wedding or want something really special for certain people (your parents/grandparents/best friend since childhood/favourite aunt or uncle, etc.), check out these beautiful hand-made cards.

Genevive Coulthurst designs and makes these. You can choose from a selection of designs or she will custom design something just for you:

https://5stitches.com/collections/thank-you

GUESTS

It is still considered NOT okay for a woman to wear white or ivory to a wedding. You don’t want to steal the bride’s thunder because her gown will most likely be one of those colours.

Black is iffy, but if the bride isn’t wearing an actual bridal gown, it’s probably okay to wear something in a light breezy fabric, or add a pop of colour with your shoes, a fascinator, a belt and/or necklace. As long as you don’t show up as if you’re going to a funeral, you’re totally fine. And if you happen to be in love with the groom and it feels like a funeral for you, then you shouldn’t be there at all!

Photos

Please do not take photos during the ceremony on your smartphone unless specifically invited to do so by the bride and groom. You have been invited to share this happy occasion with them and they would prefer to have your full attention as they exchange their vows than have you trying to capture the moment digitally. Be in the actual moment with them.

If they are happy for you to take pics of the wedding please do NOT post anything on social media before checking with them if this is okay. They may be happy for you to do so after they have put their own photos up there, but always check with them what they want. After all, it is their wedding.

If they are happy for you to take pictures during their ceremony, whatever you do, don’t get in the way of a professional photographer. The couple will be paying good money for professional shots and it’s only polite to let him or her get on with their job.

RSVPs

Always respond to a wedding invitation the same way that you receive it. If you get a snail mail invite then you must reply the same way, i.e. use a card with your acceptance or regrets, put it in an envelope, put a stamp on the envelope and drop it in a post box.

If you get an email invitation, reply that way; if you get an SMS, send your answer back that way; if you get a message on Messenger, reply to that.

The absolute golden rule here is – you simply must answer! And by the say, simply telling someone you’re coming when you run into them somewhere does not constitute an RSVP because they are likely to forget this with all the other things they have to think about.

www.sydneycelebrantjanegillespie.com.au

The post Some Tips on Modern Wedding Etiquette for the Bride & Groom and their Guests appeared first on Life Celebrations.

“I don’t know what to say”

“I’m not good with words”

“We’re not soppy people, so saying personal vows would feel silly” 

While some couples are delighted at the idea of writing their own personal vows, many others are terrified at the idea.

However, once you realise that the ceremony is actually the most important part of your wedding day – because without it you won’t actually be married – it then makes sense to think about what you mean to each other and what promises that you would like to make. If you really struggle with this, something that can be very helpful is to sit down quietly, away from each other, and write a love letter to your partner.

No one else will ever read this so just let it flow, writing everything that you love about them and what your hopes are for your future lives together. Don’t censor yourself; this isn’t going to be what you actually say at the ceremony. Once you feel you’ve expressed all the reasons why you love your partner and what your hopes and dreams are for your marriage, put the letter aside for a day or so. Then go back to it and use a highlighter to mark all the things that really stand out for you.

Some examples might be that he or she is your best friend; that you love their generosity; their closeness to their family; their compassion; what a great cook they are; how well they manage money; that you admire what a wonderful mother or father they are if you already have children; how strong they are when things get tough; how they can always make you laugh; that they listen to you when you need to talk… whatever feels true for you will become the basis for writing your vows.

Your vows can be short and simple, long and flowery, serious or funny – whatever feels comfortable for you. But do remember you’re not writing a novel!

You can share with each other what you come up with or let them be a wonderful surprise when you hear them for the first time at the ceremony.

www.sydneycelebrantjanegillespie.com.au

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Would you like to get married in Australia even if you don’t live here?  Anyone from anywhere can get married here provided they are ‘eligible’.  To be eligible you must be over the age of 18, not closely related to each other and not already married. There are no residency requirements and you could in fact get married on the same day that you arrive here, though most people wouldn’t want to do that – imagine suffering jet-lag while trying to focus on your wedding vows! However, there are other requirements that must be me

The most important requirement is the necessity to lodge a Notice of Intended Marriage with your officiant a minimum of one month before the date of your ceremony. 

Your celebrant keeps the Notice until after he or she has officiated at your marriage, when it is sent to the Registry of Births Deaths & Marriages (BDM), together with Declarations of No Legal Impediment to Marriage that you both must sign before the ceremony takes place, and your Official Marriage Certificate.

Your celebrant can register your marriage with BDM online and you are able to collect this from the Registry Office the next business day. Depending on your own country’s laws you may need to have the certificate authenticated or apostilled to have your marriage recognised there.

Information about this service can be found here: http://smartraveller.gov.au/services/legalising-documents/Pages/australia.aspx.

When you marry in Australia you can choose any day of the year, any time of the day and any location, that a celebrant is willing to perform the ceremony for you. Sydney is one of the most spectacular cities in the world, so you can choose a magnificent backdrop for your photos, ranging from a cliff top above the ocean, anywhere beside our magnificent Harbour, on the steps of the Opera House, on a stunning beach or in the Royal Botanic Gardens. 

So if you think you would like to marry here, the first thing to do is research celebrants then contact the one you think you would like to perform this service for you and start the legal process – lodging your Notice of Intended Marriage.  I would love to help you fulfil your dream of marrying in Sydney. Email me at jane@life-celebrations.com.au or call +61 412 643 751   

www.sydneycelebrantjanegillespie.com.au

The post Getting married in Australia if you don’t live here appeared first on Life Celebrations.

So you’re planning your wedding – congratulations!  There are many websites that offer good planning tools for your wedding and these can help you decide what you need to do for your special day, depending on how simple or extravagant you want it to be.

However I’ve noticed that very few of these tools place any real importance on choosing your celebrant and I find this really puzzling. Although your wedding day should be a wonderful party, it is just one day. But it is also the day when you will make a life-long commitment to the love of your life.

So although it’s important to decide on and book your reception venue, as soon as that date is locked in it’s wise to start looking for a celebrant.

It is really important to find the right person; someone that you have a rapport with, someone you feels ‘gets’ you and your fiancé and who will present you with a ceremony that reflects who you both are, as well as your hopes and dreams for the future.

Experienced celebrants are often booked a year or more in advance, so locking in your preferred person should be a priority.

While organising the reception, your wedding gown, the cake, flowers, cars, rings, choosing your hairstyle, make-up artist, photographer/videographer, etc. are all important, if you don’t end up with a ceremony that you will remember fondly forever as a true representation of you and your future husband, you will have just had a party.

Remember: without your celebrant, you won’t actually be a married.

So ask around among your friends, relatives and work colleagues if they can recommend someone. Do your own research, look for reviews on celebrants’ own websites and on social media and meet a few to make sure you find the right person for you; someone who will help you create a ceremony that will be the foundation on which you will build your marriage.

Don’t base your decision simply on price. Overall, your celebrant will probably cost less than most other items on your list and most of us will spend many hours making sure that you have the ceremony of your dreams.

One last thing: if you’ve contacted several celebrants by email, text or phone and even met a one or two, please let them know whether you want to go ahead with them or not. We know we won’t win every booking, but it is very frustrating to have had conversations with couples, either electronically or in person, and then have them simply disappear without any explanation.

It only takes a few minutes to send a quick text or email to say, ‘thank you for your response/meeting us, but we have chosen another celebrant’. You don’t have to say why, but a simple thanks for our time is most appreciated!

And I thank you for reading this post!

https://www.sydneycelebrantjanegillespie.com.au

The post WHERE DOES YOUR CELEBRANT COME ON YOUR WEDDING PLANNING LIST? appeared first on Life Celebrations.